The Halloween Cat of Grendelfearing Kittens Chapter 2:
1. Ceiling Cat let the first two kittens live in the Garden of Perpetual Catnip. 2. Ceiling Cat only asked two things of them, that they till the ground and never eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. 3. Now the Grendel was the most subtle of all the creatures that Ceiling Cat had made, and he said to the female kitten, "Have you eaten yet from the Tree of Knowledge?" 4. "No," she replied, "we have not, for Ceiling Cat commanded us not to eat of it, nor even to touch it, lest we know eternal death." 5. "You shall not die!" cried the evil Grendel, reaching down to where some of the fruit had fallen and chunking it towards her. 6. Without thinking, the female caught the fruit. 7. Figuring that she'd already broken the law and seeing the fruit was good to eat, she ate of it and her eyes were opened. 8. She took the fruit to the male kitten, who was very sorry the female had eaten of it. 9. Not wanting to be alone again, the kitteh ate the fruit as well. 10. Ceiling Cat was soon thereafter taking a morning walk in the Garden of Perpetual Catnip; the kittehs heard CC coming and hid. 11. "Why are you hiding?" asked CC. "Have you eaten of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil?" 12. "We did," replied the male, "and we're VERY sorry!" 13. Ceiling Cat banished the two kittehs from the Garden and cursed them, saying, "From this day forth, kittens and grendels shall be perpetual enemies and their enmity shall never end. Now go! and never return!"
1 day, 20 hours ago The Theocracy of Plague Kittens Poor Kittehs
1 day, 3 hours ago The Republic of Heaste Oh dear!
History has a lot to answer for.
23 hours ago The Fluffy Community of Ceiling Cats Leviticus 1
Burnt cheezeburgerz
1 Teh Ceiling Cat saiz to Mozes, "O hai! Outta ur tabby-nackels, d00dthx.
2 U should go saiz this to Izrulites, for to IM me, Hey Ceiling Cat, I can has stuff
and liek that, they gotta bring me teh cheezeburgers or other good stuff for impruvin teh conneckshun winkwink."
3 Offurings is liek good an all, buts teh haz to be not flawZord cheezeburger, and you can bringz it to mah front d00rz," saiz teh Ceiling Cat.
4 Youz to put yer pawz on teh cheezeburger, n sai, 'Sarry for the pwnage, but u no how it is an stuff, kthxbai.'
5 N then you is to kill teh Bullock (O NOES! Not teh Sandra Bullock! She B hot n all!) in front of us d00dz, n leev teh meesy cheezeburger joocez all ovur teh playce, gross. Iz U retardid?
6 Tehn take its buns off and cutz it up, so for kittehs no choke.
7 But then you are all leik, 'Cheezeburger wai too rair! DO NOT WANT!' So then you mayk a big fire for to grill it up taystee n stuff kthx.
8 Then you, liek, grill it up taystee n stuff kthx.
9 But then thair be pikkulz and onyuns n crap on it! O NOES! BLECH! Tayk that garbajge off and stik it up yr harbl, we iz not amused. Srsly. Then we can has it now? Kthxyum.
10 But if U wana bring teh donutz or teh ExBockzs, thatz kewl too, but don U be bringin me no trash, Ceiling Cat will run out of happy and kiil ur d00dz.
11 Jest bring it liek norml and throw teh stuff around, liek YAY! ExBockses and donutz n bere! W00T!
12 N then you all divvy up teh loot, ain't it grayt to be churchy and take ppls stuff? HA!!1!! Im in ur cherch, eetin yr foodZ n playin wif ur toyz! Moar plz.
13 But then you notise some joker brought copy of Zero Wing, and that suckz, so plz to thro away for graet justise. Then U eat and play kthx.
14 An hey, Ceiling Cat lieks teh chikin too dont forgit!
15 Jest make sure itz ded and crispy, raw chikin iz gross and makses us frow up.
16 No fethurz neether! R U DUM?!
17 Look, ur doin it rong, jest get teh 16 peece Xtra Crispy Bucket, with the taytoes and gravy and biskitz, and teh mac n' chz, kthx? What? O ya, Ceiling Cat iz happy, sure yumyum, srsly."
22 hours ago The Halloween Cat of Grendelfearing Kittens Joshua, Chapter 1
1. Now after The Texas Goddess Kitten of Sweet Furry Kittens had seen the promised land, she was laid to rest in a secret place, old and full of years. 2. Then The Halloween Cat of Grendelfearing Kittens said to the gathered elders, "Behold, the Grendels befoul the land that was promised to our ancestors! Let us go and take possession of it." 3. So the kittehs assembled into a mighty army and crossed the River Sactuary. 4. The first town they encountered was called Jericho. The kittehs tried very hard to conquer the city, but it was guarded by a very powerful wall, so they could do nothing. 5. Grendelfearing Kittens then had a dream from Ceiling cat that told him how to conquer Jericho. 6. So the kittehs marched around the city seven times, then The Catty Kitten Empire of Illyriel blew the trumpet at the walls, which came crumbling down. 7. And to this day, nothing remains of Jericho except crumbled walls.
and liek that, they gotta bring me teh cheezeburgers or other good stuff for impruvin teh conneckshun winkwink."